Thursday, 4 July 2013

The Freedom of Forgiveness

We all know someone who we feel has 'done us wrong' in our lives,  At a function the other day I met up with someone I had not spoken to for a long time.  At first it was awkward, I am ashamed to say I tried desperately to avoid this person because I felt hurt by her actions many years ago.  I decided this was a silly way to act.  I didn't want to spend my life hiding from anyone, all I had to do was speak my truth, resolve the issue and move on. 
There had been many times I had thought of this person and mourned the loss of our friendship, but I was stuck in my own 's***' and wouldn't do anything about it.  I know I'm not alone here, many of us do this.  Rather than sort it out, we swallow those horrible emotions and pretend we don't feel any pain or sadness.  We build a wall around our heart, brick by brick.  Back to my story...
We ended up talking for a while and although we reconnected, I still felt a block around my heart, so obviously just talking about 'stuff' wasn't going to make this go away. 
Wandering away from the crowd we were able to discuss the events that had resulted in me 'cutting' this person out of my life.  I was surprised to discover she too had missed our friendship and her stomach churned whenever she thought about what might have happened.  Although I had walked away from our friendship, I had never explained why, so she hadn't had the luxury of closure.  I, of course, believed she wouldn't notice I was no longer around...
As we amicably ironed out all the miscommunications, misconceptions and hurts, we realised we were both keen to renew our friendship despite what had happened, that we valued our friendship enough to start again.  Together we laughed, we cried, we hugged...
I learnt a lot from this experience. 
 - We never really know the repercussions a choice or action we make impacts on others
 - Releasing a hurt can be incredibly liberating
 - Sometimes our perception of others neglect or rejection may just be that - our perception!
 - It isn't until we have forgiven an event, action, situation or a person, we realise how it was stored within our body - all of a sudden there is space in our heart for love instead of fear or hate
As I drove home the sky seemed bluer, my heart was lighter and my soul was singing.  The feeling was so amazing I wanted to contact everyone I felt had ever wronged me so I could feel this way forever.
Do you have some unfinished business that could be transformed into a sense of awesomeness?  Try it, I definitely recommend it!

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